now this post may surprise some of you and some of you it may not... tonite i served my first game of a 2 game suspension from my local men's baseball league... personally i am not real sure how to feel... humbled? yeah, a bit... surprised? that too... i think i am mainly just laughing about it though because i have never been suspended from anything before... no technical fouls or ejections in any manner from any sport at all...(actually there was that time when i bit that guys ear off in the Bethany Boxing Federation, but i was hungry so can you blame me???) so this is a wierd place for me to be right now...
the long and short is this... playing second game of baseball on a long, hot saturday afternoon and the calls seem to be questionable and our bench became quite irritated... as did i... the difference being that i (in my opinion, politely) approached the umpire to get reasons for such travesties... others did not handle things quite so gentlemanly(is that a word???) ... i guess the ump was tired too after a long afternoon and did not appreciate our questioning and quit midstream of the game... on monday one of our team reps (we have 2) spoke with this ump and said that we had 2 options... either myself and 2 others were suspended for 2 games or he would never ump our teams games again... well if we had a surplus of umpires on Grand Manan this would be an easy choice for me because i thought the ruling was silly, but alas, we do not... in fact this umpire represents 50% of the umpires on Grand Manan so i am serving my 1st suspension from anything, ever this week...
do i feel that we were scapegoats and made an example of to show others in the league that this problem will not be tolerated... YOU BET I DO!!! if things were handled consistantly there would have been 10 different guys serving suspensions this week for "jawing" as they like to call it, but i guess that is not the point...
the point and humbling spiritual lesson is this... when i allow bad officiating or other people's actions (other teams that is) to control my attitude and take the fun out sports for me it is time to hang up the cleats... in fact i almost did saturday night as i tossed and turned til 1:00 in the morning hating what had happened, how i felt towards others, and who i became on that ballfield that day... does this apply to life??? i think so... you connect the dots...
but sunday night through numerous teens sharing with me their personal hurts and pains i realized that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ and he has awesome plans for me on this island with the young people so i best stop beating myself up, griping about "others", serve my time and move on... Satan has been attacking me big time as i realize this, but i will not be defeated so i guess all i really have to say is...
"Play ball!!!" (er, well not until next week that is....)
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Friday, July 15, 2005
everything is the same...
as i came up with the title of this post i realized that it is not a totally accurate title... as i saw my boys last friday i realized that they are not staying the same... they are getting BIG!!! although vaughn is not walking on his own yet, he walked around the mall with his mother as he held on to a lower makeshift handle on his stroller... i couldn't believe it... and lee, well lee is a monster... not a mean one, but a cuddly and friendly one... you know, like on sesame street... and not like elmo... he annoys me... i would say more like the cookie monster... friendly with an aggressive, hyper streak... anywho, that is what is no the same...
pertaining to my title it feels like things are moving slowing in the same direction that they have always been going... still missing the boys, still struggling with bills and being stressed and still with a car that is more content with not running rather than, well you know...
now don't get me wrong... i love my life here, but i guess i am just hoping that things could move more in the direction of closure in regards to my boys and "my time" with them... that is why i want a better car, that is why i wish there was more money to pay support to their mother... (is this complaining or just longing for more time with my boys, or both???)
i guess i would be okay with everything being the same if my boys were included in the routine... i feel selfish typing this, but it seems to me that a father, or a real father should long to be apart of his kids lives... there is too many deadbeats out there who don't give a damn (sorry) about their kids and yet they still get rights... where is mine? (for the record i am not challenging God here)
Perhaps this is the place where i need to be praying that God would teach me to be a better father for my boys so that when i get time with them i will know how to be a better dad... was that redundant or did i just repeat a thought in the same sentence??? ;7p
love yall, keep praying....
pertaining to my title it feels like things are moving slowing in the same direction that they have always been going... still missing the boys, still struggling with bills and being stressed and still with a car that is more content with not running rather than, well you know...
now don't get me wrong... i love my life here, but i guess i am just hoping that things could move more in the direction of closure in regards to my boys and "my time" with them... that is why i want a better car, that is why i wish there was more money to pay support to their mother... (is this complaining or just longing for more time with my boys, or both???)
i guess i would be okay with everything being the same if my boys were included in the routine... i feel selfish typing this, but it seems to me that a father, or a real father should long to be apart of his kids lives... there is too many deadbeats out there who don't give a damn (sorry) about their kids and yet they still get rights... where is mine? (for the record i am not challenging God here)
Perhaps this is the place where i need to be praying that God would teach me to be a better father for my boys so that when i get time with them i will know how to be a better dad... was that redundant or did i just repeat a thought in the same sentence??? ;7p
love yall, keep praying....
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
post creation report...
all i can say is wow, what a week and man i need sleep... for those of you millions of readers who do not know, i was at Creation Music Festival in Pennsylvania last week... amazing... the concerts were great, worship was great, speaking was great, and God was totally there... amazing...
it is hard to say what my fave concert was, but if i had to choose, i would say Casting Crowns... does it make me old if i enjoy a band for the words and passion for the Lord above a kicking concert? if so i guess i am old... don't get me wrong, i enjoyed the kicking ones too and it was awesome that they were all about God too... great week...
two main highlights for me were this: 1) i was able to meet and chat with 2 guys from PA and they were really cool guys... one of them played in his churches worship band which gave an instant topic for conversation... as well he has gone through what i am going through in regards to marriage now... what are the odds??? well i was blessed as they prayed for me and we continued to chat and exchange emails...
2) God really challenged me to get alone this week... for those of you who do not know of creation, there are roughly 120,000 people there and 150,000 at night... unbelievable sceen during a worship time, but you would think that getting alone would be hard to do... especially since the people who i travelled with are some of my best friends... but i did and it was awesome... what a peace he gave me as i got lost in His presence amongst the other 149, 999 people... God's ways are not our ways eh?
please pray as i get to see the boys this weekend...
it is hard to say what my fave concert was, but if i had to choose, i would say Casting Crowns... does it make me old if i enjoy a band for the words and passion for the Lord above a kicking concert? if so i guess i am old... don't get me wrong, i enjoyed the kicking ones too and it was awesome that they were all about God too... great week...
two main highlights for me were this: 1) i was able to meet and chat with 2 guys from PA and they were really cool guys... one of them played in his churches worship band which gave an instant topic for conversation... as well he has gone through what i am going through in regards to marriage now... what are the odds??? well i was blessed as they prayed for me and we continued to chat and exchange emails...
2) God really challenged me to get alone this week... for those of you who do not know of creation, there are roughly 120,000 people there and 150,000 at night... unbelievable sceen during a worship time, but you would think that getting alone would be hard to do... especially since the people who i travelled with are some of my best friends... but i did and it was awesome... what a peace he gave me as i got lost in His presence amongst the other 149, 999 people... God's ways are not our ways eh?
please pray as i get to see the boys this weekend...
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