you ever think you are doing awesome with your walk with the Lord and then it hits you, or is revealed to you that you may not be doing so well...
yes that is where i am at right now... God has totally empowered me lately since the alabama trip (or at least i am claiming the authority finally) but there has been an internal struggle for me as of late... while i feel that i have a great impact with the ministry here on Grand Manan, i have been wrestling with whether or not i am to take a church as a pastor... that desire has always been there, but i feel that God has wanted me here for a season and now i am facing that choice again...
while we were on our way to and from alabama a church that we stayed in really left it's mark with me and since being home i have found out that they are hiring a full time youth/young adults director... to say the least i am so intrigued that my stomach has been in knots and i struggle to get this posibility out of my mind...
yet here is what is holding me to GM... 1) my kids are in fredericton 2) i love my teens here 3) God has blessed me with an amazing group of friends 4)i love the ministry on the island and where things are going spiritually... yet, financially i have not yet found a fit that has been able to provide me with a full time income that allows me to be a father to my children... so i have been wrestling to say the least...
last night at a service that i went to the preacher spoke about the wind and how scripture often speaks about God being in the wind and how churches often react to the wind of the spirit moving... to make a long sermon not so long i realized that i have been sitting in my boat with my sails down because i am affraid of where that wind may take me... it seems that GM has become a comfort zone to me that i have become emotionally attached to... not a bad thing, but if it gets in the way of what God is doing then we have a problem...
so here is my prayer request... i have some potential options that range between GM and bama... i am going to be faithful to make some phone calls, but i need the
Spirit to lead or more importantly i want my sails up to recieve what the spirit says and then be obedient wherever, or whatever that means...
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6 comments:
I will deffinitely pray for you Scottie! Ofcourse, I want you to stay here but make sure you do what God wants. Now I can say go check out my blog because it's actually there! (and thankyou SO MUCH for the encouraging comments you left on my blog, I appreciate them SO much, luv ya)
Hey Scottie, I will be praying for you, it's a tough spot to be in, we were in a similar spot last year when my husband finished teacher's college. We were like now what? I won't go into details, but I'll tell you this, it was a trying 4 months (at times pretty stressful) BUT God is faithful and opened a door for us, when we thought surely there wasn't a door for us (he got a teaching job the last day of summer break because a teacher quit the day before) and we were able use the experience as a testimony of God's provision to extended members of family who couldn't believe how God worked in our lives. Although a challenging time, it was awesome. Anyhow, all that to say I'll be praying for you and at times you may feel all sorts emotions but remember that God has a plan and he will reveal it in His time, not ours.
It's Jeff Fuller, www.mjaye.blogspot.com
802-522-3092
Great seein' your blog on ole Lenny's link list ...
I read your blog fom time to time, and one line in your last post keeps standing out in my mind. You said that financially you have not found a full time income that allows you to be a father to your children. As any parent will tell you, money does not make a parent. However, as a single mom myself, I have seen how lack of money gives some men what they feel is a justifiable excuse not to be a father. Being a parent isn't always easy, but don't use your financial situation as an excuse. The bottom line is that no matter how much money you have in your bank account, you will still be the same man you are now. Is that man a father to his kids? Don't fool yourself into thinking that your kids care about your finacial struggles. All they care about is that they have a dad. Seems to me like you have an awful lot of thinking and prioritizing to do on this walk with God you are on. Don't take the coward's way out. Don't use money or religion to absolve yourself of your parental duties. If you do, not only will you live to regret it, but so will your kids. You are setting the stage right now for the rest of their lives. You may not want to be teaching them that the world revolves around money. Your world should revolve around them, don't you think??
anonymous,
you raise a good point, but my children do come second in my life... or at least that is where i want them to be... first off i want to faithful and obedient to where God wants me... it is not about "religion", in fact i am not a big fan of "religion"... but i need to be obedient to God's leading... that is not the cowards way and if i am faithful to "His" way, the rest falls into place... i must seek God first and trust that He knows my desire to be that Godly parent...
the toughest part is trying to rationalize God's plans into my human logic... i don't think my brain has that kind of capabilities...
thank you for your insights...
p.s. do i know you???
About the financial thing, I think I read it differently than anonymous did: What I read is that earning a living takes time and time working means less time with kids. No, your kids don't care if you're rich but you do need to earn a living and that takes time. Totally understand that (well, not really since I don't have kids, but I do understand that it would be an issue).
As far as putting God before your kids goes, I don't think being a good dad and being a good Christian are mutually exclusive. Would God ask you to do something that would hurt your relationship with the kids? I don't think so.
Tough call, though. Decisions like that are hard enough when you've only got your own life to be concerned about. I'll pray for you Scottie.
LOVE!
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