it is a matter of perspective, but when do you reach the point where enough is enough??? or do you???
i have realized today that my flesh is apparently stronger than my spirit... looking at this i would think that it is because i am feeding one more than the other, but i don't think that is it... the problem seems to be that i am not really feeding either... now i don't know about you, but when i don't get fed i get cranky... so it seems to me that if i am not feeding myself spiritually (whatever that means) i can get cranky which seems to make the flesh more abundant... does this make sense to anyone else??? somehow in my mind it does... the long and short is this... i am not looking forward to Christmas because of that lack of time i will get with my kids and that ticks me off... now as of late i am trying to "speak life" into people and that apparently has painted a target on me...
so because i have not fed my spirit as i should be i become a complaining "bitch" that i do not want to become... how fun is that... sorry for the language...
so here i am being hungry and mad at the world asking how do i get fed and please, no sunday school answers...
it is all about perspective, but didn't even Job wonder what the heck was going on and if it would ever end???
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5 comments:
scottie, i hear ya. warning: this may be a long response. I hope it encourages you. in times when we're getting fed and are full of the Spirit it seems so easy to know how to "get fed." when we're cranky and dry and feeling alone it's totally different.
no sunday school answers allowed, right? ok, well, how do we get fed?....i really believe we have to stop trying. stop trying to be nice and full of joy. stop trying to feed our minds through devotional time and stop beating ourselves up for failing as a Christian. then accept the compassion of Christ, cry for awhile to Him, rest our troubled spirits in His. sit and talk to Him from our spirit and soul not just the mind. I really truly believe the best way to get re-fueled is to stop trying to refuel ourselves and just exist before the Lord, whether that means snot faced sobs or screaming or a quiet talk with Him. Breathe. Feel. Rest.
i'm heartbroken for you and your kids. i can't imagine how tough it is this time of year too. i don't know how to word this so it doesn't sound cold, i mean it with great compassion: we focus so much on the outer struggles in life but the reality, the real things that matter are the inner struggles. Jesus cares about your situation, but He cares about your spirit 10 times more. He wants you to rest in Him (John 15) and live in peace regardless of life's circumstances because He cares deeply about the state of your inner man. He wants you to depend on Him not so He can control you but because He has compassion on you and desires that you be at peace, for He IS in control and has NOT forgotten you. The Lord showed me that II Cor 4:8-18 is for you today!
ah! this way long. hope you don't feel preached at. i'm praying for you today friend. i'm hoping to come to GM someday soon, i promise!
I'm coming back to Freddy Beach, where else would I go? :)
I'm so excited, if you can imagine.
Hey Scottie,
How are you doing? I've been reading your blogs. It's such a great way to keep tabs on people from bbc and to keep in touch. My email is lisabrander24@hotmail.com
lisa (Borden) brander
lor, thanks for the post and it was too cool to chat with ya... you're amazing...
amber, that is awesome you are heading back to freddy beach... perhaps for a reasonable price i can pay you to spy on my kids for me??? maybe not...
lisa... wow... that was a shocker... congrats on the marriage and thanks for the email... i will send you out a shout after christmas... apparently we have to catch up...
blessings all, Merry Christmas...
You're slacking! Where are your new posts?! I have internet now, so give me something to read!
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