Wednesday, January 10, 2007

40 Days of Praise: Day 10

wow, wow, wow... this forty days thing has finally reached double digits... despite what the lack of blogging may indicate to some, deep down i am thankful... especially after last sunday when i was able to spend time with my youngest boy... that makes me thankful... he is so beautiful... and yes he is mine... i know you were thinking it...

today's blog is simple... i praise God that i can be real and not have to feel condemned... of course that does not mean that i always feel free of such thoughts but i am SLOWLY learning that God created me and that is cool... often times i feel bad because my realness or in confusing times i feel like i am complaining, but i suspect that God is big enough to handle my questions... i suppose i just have to get past seeming vulnerable in peoples eyes and ask the questions and be willing to dig deep to find the answers...

does anyone ever feel bad for feeling blunt and not so proper at times? is this less Christian??? this pic although fun represents a lot of what i have been feeling lately bouncing back and forth between two schools of thought... this is a discussion starter so, ready, set, GO...

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

why only one boy Scottie? what happened to seeing both boys?

Scottie said...

why the constant doubt anonymous? for those talking in this forum, let's stay on topic please...

Anonymous said...

Hi Scott,

That's great you were able to see your little one. too bad you were not able to see the other one.

And yes, I have felt not so Christian at times. Everytime My ex doesn't want to see the girls, I feel like kicking his ___.

Anonymous said...

I appologize. I was asking out of genuine concern. You have been open about the troubles of seeing your children. I was honestly concerned about you not seeing your older boy. I am sorry. I hope you enjoyed the time spent with your little guy. I am not a blogger on this site, just a curious bystander. My name is Leanne.

Jo said...

yes, sometimes i feel bad for being blunt scottie, but usually it's because other people respond in a critical way. i'm all about honesty. i say, keep it up!

Scottie said...

sorry leanne... i have had some battles with other anonymous's lately who were not so polite...

Scottie said...

i don't know jo... it isn't so much a rude thing but being real with where i am at spiritually, emotionally, etc... i hate feeling stupid because no one else seems to do it... this is what makes me feel sometimes less Christian for being honest, real or whatever... perhaps i should just have it all together and keep it to myself if i do not... perhaps plastic Christianity is the new way to go...

Jo said...

oh for sure. plastic christianity is by far the most popular and socially acceptible. problem is, it doesn't have very much power or longevity. now, i am a very very guarded person, but this is mostly because there are so many plastic christians out there. it's a never-ending cycle. getting out of the cycle and being real about where one is at is a hard and brave thing to do, and it helps to liberate the more guarded ones. i'm not there yet. at least not on a blog. more power to you though!

Anonymous said...

I am new to christianity. I do not know much. Explain Plastic Christian? Leanne

Scottie said...

okay, here is what i mean by plastic Christianity and it may be different for others... for me it is being affraid to be honest about feelings, struggles or our journey in life in general because we feel like we will be judged or thought less of if we are... i don't know if anyone does ever do this, but sometimes i feel like i am less of a Christian because i wear my heart on my sleeve... plastic to me equals fakeness so we seem like we have it together... there are somedays when that is the way i want to live, but i can't do it... it bugs me... God knows my heart and i can be real with him (even if that means yelling or cursing) so why do i feel that i can't be this way around people who are suppose to love and support me... (no one in particular thought of here)

this is how i would define plastic Christianity... hope that makes sense leanne... have a great day...

Anonymous said...

But I have found that so-called Christians seem to be the most judgemental. They are the first ones to tear your heart out and leave you to bleed to death. How are new trying-to-be Christians supposed to find God and the true Love of being in His presence if all the so-called Christians are there to block your way? I am really trying and I know there are genuine Christians out there but I have not been able to find many Christians that truly want to help me and others find God and His purpose. I really need some help finding the truth here. Thanks. Leanne

superwomanlmm said...

I think one of the biggest problems with "the church" is that people get so caught up in the way people "should be" that they forget that's it's not about being perfect. Jesus didn't come for the well, he came for the sick. We've been discussing this a lot lately in my church. Jesus could have sang that song by Garth Brooks, "I've got friends in low places" because the people he hung out with were the messed up people, those who had been judged and considered outcasts according to society. The problem with people today is they get so caught up with religion that they forget it's all about having a relationship with Christ.
(I think this is the longest comment I've ever made. oh and hi Scottie.)

theajthomas said...

Does our fear of "being real" say more about other people's judgmentalism or our own pride? I might be able to get a whole post out of that someday.

Scottie said...

WOW!!! the AJ Thomas commented on my blog... i have reached a new plateau of blogdom... yes, yes, thank you kirk...

and i do agree with the pride issue speaking personally... often times i get it in my head that i will not share to avoid looking like a tool... i try not to get this way, but sometimes it tough... feeling vulnerable in front of people is hard no matter who you are around...

Scottie said...

to leanne:

i am struggling a bit as to know what to say to you... truth can be found in one place and it is not in people's opinions of you... i think this is part of my issue... often times i place too much value in people's opinions of me and that goes for the positives as well as the negatives...

take comfort in the opinion that matters... God's Word is full of scripture that tells of how dear you are to him... i will pray for you today regarding God's truth being revealed... if you don't mind i could use your prayers too...

hope this helps leanne... have a blessed day...

Anonymous said...

thank you for your response and your prayers Scottie. I will pray for you too. I am hoping somehow I will find the truth and find the way I am seeking without the judgements of those who wish to bring me down. I hope you find peace in your walk too.

Leanne