get your sails up, get your sails up... c'mon party people, get your sails up...

you ever think you are doing awesome with your walk with the Lord and then it hits you, or is revealed to you that you may not be doing so well...

yes that is where i am at right now... God has totally empowered me lately since the alabama trip (or at least i am claiming the authority finally) but there has been an internal struggle for me as of late... while i feel that i have a great impact with the ministry here on Grand Manan, i have been wrestling with whether or not i am to take a church as a pastor... that desire has always been there, but i feel that God has wanted me here for a season and now i am facing that choice again...

while we were on our way to and from alabama a church that we stayed in really left it's mark with me and since being home i have found out that they are hiring a full time youth/young adults director... to say the least i am so intrigued that my stomach has been in knots and i struggle to get this posibility out of my mind...

yet here is what is holding me to GM... 1) my kids are in fredericton 2) i love my teens here 3) God has blessed me with an amazing group of friends 4)i love the ministry on the island and where things are going spiritually... yet, financially i have not yet found a fit that has been able to provide me with a full time income that allows me to be a father to my children... so i have been wrestling to say the least...

last night at a service that i went to the preacher spoke about the wind and how scripture often speaks about God being in the wind and how churches often react to the wind of the spirit moving... to make a long sermon not so long i realized that i have been sitting in my boat with my sails down because i am affraid of where that wind may take me... it seems that GM has become a comfort zone to me that i have become emotionally attached to... not a bad thing, but if it gets in the way of what God is doing then we have a problem...

so here is my prayer request... i have some potential options that range between GM and bama... i am going to be faithful to make some phone calls, but i need the
Spirit to lead or more importantly i want my sails up to recieve what the spirit says and then be obedient wherever, or whatever that means...

been a while... i may or may not be sorry...

so i guess i am due to add a new post here so that people do not think i am dead... actually i have been informed in that i am a selfish blogger... one of my teens who has jumped onto this fad has had her blog disappear and by me having one and not using it i guess makes me unthankful... actually she did not say that, but it does kind of make sense somehow...

so let's go way back:
our superbowl party went pretty well... the senior boys basketball team was away that weekend so that took away them, their friends and senior girls and despite all that we still had 85 or so teens there... now try to imagine 85 junior highers in one small building with lots of sugar in their system... oh yes, it was that insane... but it was good and the kids were given an alternative place to be where there were wonderful good influences like me all around... i am making this sound less and less inspiring aren't i???

after that things began to go downhill a bit and i guess i kind of let stuff get to me... there was a one week period where i had my water pipes in my house freeze and break, my transmission in my jeep seized up, i got the flu and was up all night puking and pooping (there is just no way to say that nicely), and i was laid off at the boys and girls club... this took quite the toll on my mind but as a look back it makes sense because i was about to lead a group of 42 individuals from grand manan to the gulf coast for some hurricane relief work... this was my 2nd trip and many peoples first time on a missions trip... satan really did a number on my mind and my confidence... it was hard to believe that i could do this and as a matter of fact there was a lot of time when i believed that i could not... yet this trip seemed to go by with minimal complications and i had to make tough decisions that i have never had to make before... i could feel God empowering me as people would wonder what we were doing next... once again i learned how big God is and how little i am... i could not lead this trip, yet God chose me and somehow we all made it back and have been changed through this experience...

and now i am back on grand manan kind of wondering what is next... to be honest i am hoping for some full time work, but that is up to God... i will search my options and see where He leads... i guess i am not really worried, but at the same time it would be nice to know... being that this is a big turn around time for the wesleyan church my mind has wondered about looking into taking a church somewhere, but i do not feel a peace about that... i am totally in love with my island teens and church right now and for whatever reason feel that i am not allowed to leave yet... so that being said i have to believe that God has something for me here... surviving leadership on this trip has built a new desire in me to speak to people for God... this goes beyond teens i guess... whoever, wherever, whenever... yikes... but once again this is bigger than me, but not the one who wants to speak through me...

so there... hope ya'll are caught up... more news at 11... or whenever the news happens... love ya'll... talk to me...

SuperBowl Party '06

seahawks
Originally uploaded by lepracaun.rm.

steelers
Originally uploaded by lepracaun.rm.

aaahhh, it's that time of the year again when everybody who hasn't watched football all year becomes an expert... that is fun...

now here on good ole GM timmy and i are planning our CWY and B&G Club superbowl party... last year there was 120 teens, plus leaders, plus 2 bands, plus fans stuffed in our little boys & girls club...

much fun was had and 1400 hot wings were eaten... good night and relationships were built...

this year will hopefully be no different, but i want to ask you all to pray for this event... yes there will be sweet prizes, fun fear factor games, and a buttload of hot wings and the first ever Grand Manan Madden Bowl, but the best part of this night is going to be building relationships with many, many young people...

please pray as we continue to plan for this... i love how God can use a silly football game and crazy fun events for His glory... Are you ready for some football???

all about perspective... chapter 123...

so here we go again... let's start from the top, er bottom i guess... i was driving away from men's basketball tonight and was kind of frustrated because i played like stir fried poo poo... so i was a little distracted... today we had snow, which was new as well... to make a long story short i went around a corner (not very fast) and even though i turned the wheel, my jeep did not turn with the wheels... not a positive thing...

so i slid, and i slid, and then i bounced somewhat violently off of the guardrail... my first thought was "oh no, i can't afford this!!!"

then i pulled over and walked around my jeep to survey the damage... to my surprise, there was no major damage... what??? all that was broken was the plastic that was attached to my bumper... no dents on the wheel well, no damage to the side of my jeep, my tire was not wobbeling... to be honest i was shocked... also at the risk of looking dumb, i forgot to wear my seatbelt and i am fine... maybe i should attribute any ditzyness to this traumatic event?

after i saw the lack of damage and began to drive off two thoughts ran through my head... #1 - my mother was right... jeep cherokee's are tough as nails... or at least tougher than guard rails... and #2 - who the heck was praying for me??? was it you??? please let me know so i can thank you if it was...

once again... all about perspective... bad basketball night... who cares???

Faithfulness + Faithfulness = Less Telemarketers???

so here is my thoughts... pardon me if i get a little vulnerable... i have been struggling as of late and it seems to be a recurring battle... one that i thought i had victory over as a matter of fact...

a very wise person has blessed me with the thought of just being in Christ and to stop trying to be a better Christian... allow myself to be immersed with the presence of the almighty God and let that stir me to be the person that He wants me to be... that is awesome, but... then there is me....

i also had a pretty wise pastor friend teach me that temptation is like those annoying telemarketers that are always trying to sell you that amazing product that you have always wanted and needed, but truthfully will never use... it is so easy to just say no, no, no, no, non, go away, you annoy me, no, then eventually "click", and we hang up...

with respect to my friend of the just be persuasion (i don't think i am disagreeing with you) i had a formula come to mind... faithfulness + faithfulness = less telemarketers... faithfulness to being God's son, soaking up His presence and Word will spur me on to a life (active) of faithfulness... which in turn gives strength to resist the annoying telemarketers of temptation... so i guess there is not less of them and as i think of it, perhaps there is more... formula in progress...

and all of that to say that i need to reunite with my first love and be the son that gives witness to His perfect daddy... hmmmm... let the growing and molding continue i guess... blessings,

scottie

thanks kayla

so this post is for kayla who so lovingly called me on my slackerness of posting... sadly due to lack of time i will do it in point form...

-MY BABY CALLED ME DADDY ON THE 7TH OF JANUARY!!!!! MERRY FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS SCOTTIE!!! BEST GIFT EVER!!!

-geoff (my bro) went with me to see the kids and we had a great time...

-big news to come on the daddy/divorce front... will keep you posted as things progress...

-as well i had my group of best friends get together and buy me a new acoustic guitar for Christmas... amazing bunch of people whom i love very much... i am blessed because of these guys/gals... and the guitar is a small part of it, although it does open up the door for me to begin leading worship again, which i love to do...

-things have not progressed in the new year as i had originally hoped for work, but something will come... if God still wants me on GM He will provide...

-february 5th is the date for my second superbowl party and it is in the stadium of my favorite team, the detroit lions... too bad the lions aren't even close to making it to the superbowl... ~sigh~

-march 4th-12th marks the return to alabama for myself and as of yesterday we have a group of 54ish people going...

so i hope this is sufficient for those of you with the flaming torches ready to burn me for being a blogger slacker... soon to come; pics of the kids... i can't stand it anymore... i have to show them off... love ya'll...

how to love???

it is a matter of perspective, but when do you reach the point where enough is enough??? or do you???

i have realized today that my flesh is apparently stronger than my spirit... looking at this i would think that it is because i am feeding one more than the other, but i don't think that is it... the problem seems to be that i am not really feeding either... now i don't know about you, but when i don't get fed i get cranky... so it seems to me that if i am not feeding myself spiritually (whatever that means) i can get cranky which seems to make the flesh more abundant... does this make sense to anyone else??? somehow in my mind it does... the long and short is this... i am not looking forward to Christmas because of that lack of time i will get with my kids and that ticks me off... now as of late i am trying to "speak life" into people and that apparently has painted a target on me...

so because i have not fed my spirit as i should be i become a complaining "bitch" that i do not want to become... how fun is that... sorry for the language...

so here i am being hungry and mad at the world asking how do i get fed and please, no sunday school answers...

it is all about perspective, but didn't even Job wonder what the heck was going on and if it would ever end???

all about perspective...

so yeah, i have been a super slacker when it comes to posting about the alabama trip, but here it is... i have had a real hard time collecting my thoughts about what i witnessed while i was there... there were a ton of emotions from either side of the spectrum...

i will say this about what we did... it can simply be put as "whatever"... serving was tops our our list and there was plenty of opportunities for that... the majority of what we did as a group was tearing the insides of people's houses apart so they could be bleached and rebuilt...

there are so many stories of things where we could see the hand of God in our trip that i could go on for hours telling them, but i will save that for a later date... what God did in me was, to say the least humbling...

seeing the destruction and hopelessness down in the gulf coast was overwhelming to me and yet i did not want to leave... i was so happy serving these people even though there was a lot of grunt work that i am not used to... yet doing ministry and serving people filled me with joy...

but the main emotion that i came back home with was that i am a very selfish person... as i got back home i realized how much i complain about things that seem big to me, but in the grand scheme of things are not... i complain about my house having no oil and being cold; at least i have a house... i complain about my vehicles always breaking down; at least i have vehicles to break down... i complain about never seeing my kids; at least i know where my kids are and that they are safe...

you see; it is all about perspective and we are often so quick to complain when we are blessed... "with this blessing comes responsibility and this is so much bigger than us..."

i love it...

more updates to come...

here we go...

dear diary,

i don't know if i am going to be able to sleep tonight, but i will try... so here is the agenda for the next few days...

Monday, November 21st - pack and do 1 million things to get ready for the trip...
7:00 pm - leave on the GM V and get to black's harbout @ 9ish and then head to wales maine... arriving there around 1 AM...

Tuesday, November 22nd - get rental van at 8 am and the we drive drive drive... stop somewhere (not sure where) to get some sleep...

Wednesday, November 23rd - drive, drive, drive and hopefully arrive in Mobile, Alabama that evening...

Thursday, November 24th - serve 600 thanksgiving meals...

beyond that i am not sure what we are doing, but i get the feeling that God is going to continually break my heart with what i am about to see and stand in the middle of... may i be a light Lord that shines for you... all for You...

what it is all about...

so please forgive me if it seems like i may be bragging during this post, but i am... lately i feel like i am somewhat bipolar due to the fact that my moods seems to stay the same as long as a the weather does... but lately things have been reminding me why i do what i do...

let me explain... last week i was given the opportunity to counsell some people though some stuff and even though immediately things did not plan out the best, today someone came to me and said that they all worked things out... it is so cool that i was able to lay a foundation and then leave it alone and those involved could get through the rest on their own in their time... what a blessing...

then the other night at youth we presented the idea to our teens who were planning on going to a huge rally about the possibility of serving in Alabama in march and the almost immediately decided that they want to serve instead of pursuing their own interests... i was so proud of these teens... words cannot explain it...

so i guess i post this for 2 reasons... first, it serves as a reminder for me to not give up when things suck... there is value in investing and caring even though somedays (like today) it is a big headache... and secondly, i guess i wanted to remind those of you out there who care about people and desire to invest in people to not give up when things get tough and people don't always appreciate your efforts... despite what you feel, there are people who do care and do appreciated... hang in there and keep trudging through the muck...

we are going...

man it has been a while since i have left a post on this site... if there are those of you who actually check this, i am sorry for my slackness...

i guess the biggest thing that i have to say in this one is that i am alabama bound... tim branscombe and myself have been chatting and feel like it is time for us to step up and represent Christ in the "gulf area" of the southern united states... to make a long story not so long we are heading for alabama in about 3 weeks for american thanksgiving to serve those down there who are in need and there is a lot... am i excited??? yes i am... scared? you bet... do i have any idea where the money is coming from??? not a clue, but God is faithful and $400 is pocket lint to my saviour...

if you want to join on and come with us during this amazing opportunity, please let me know... if you would like to support me financially or prayerfully, that would be greatly appreciated as all this is needed... once again, this is something that is so much bigger than me, but God is faithful and will lead the way...
sweet home alabama here we come... we may not be able to handle it all, but as God is our strength we will do what we can and bring souls to Christ... i can't wait...

i can relate, i can relate....

okay, this begins a little humbling, but it has a point... so it was a rainy afternoon and i finished up a band practice and went home to rest before teen night... while i was home resting i decided to channel surf... as i did i came across Oprah... now i don't usually watch Oprah, but i noticed that her guest was going to be Uma Thurman... after seeing this i decided to leave it on that channel... it could be that i secretly have decided that i am going to marry her, but nobody is suppose to know that yet...

anywho as she spoke with the talk show diva they talked about Uma's recent divorce and for the first time in my life i felt like i could relate to a celebrity... as she spoke she seemed very real... it was like her pain was the great equalizer... i felt like if i were there we could speak and actually with each other... seeing this famous movie star speaking very honestly and very painfully brought back some emotions for me and reminded me of what i have to come in terms of finalizing stuff...

so here is my point... "pain is pain..." how is that for deep thoughts??? on a day that i have been missing my little boys and have been feeling pretty alone i see someone who is dealing with pain and hurt too... my heart broke for uma as a could relate to what she was feeling... none of us are exempt, none of us are free from pain... this is a fact, but despite this pain the ultimate truth is that "God is God" and he cares for our hurts and pains... sometimes it is the simple things that i so easily forget, but it is still true... so here i sit still missing my boys trusting that we will be united someday saying that "uma, i praying for you..." YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

for goodness sake, do something...

okay,

i have to admit that i have watched more news last night and today than i probably have my whole life... i cannot fathom what is going on down in the the southern united states... my heart has been breaking all day for the people down there... even though it seems that people have been evacuated better and people are more prepared i cannot help but wonder what a lot of people are going to come back to, if anything at all...

now as i have been talking to timmy b. i have recently discovered that my youth ministry philosophy is sickeningly simple... in fact it is 2 words... here it is: "do something" that is it... just get your hands out of your pocket, your finger out of your nose and do something... love people, spend time with people, invest in people, serve people... for goodness sake, just do something!!!

incase it is unclear there seems to be a connection with the last 2 paragraphs... i am even quite nervous to mention this as i may be called on it... God let my yes be yes, but i cannot get the feelings out of my head that i have to do something for the people of the gulf coast... what that is, i have no sweet clue... send money, pray, i don't know... it seems bigger than that... obviously i need to give this to God but it is almost like He has been breaking my heart for the people there as if He wants me to be there and "do something"... please join with me in prayer regarding this as i try to determine what God is calling me to do here... obviously if He asked me to go i have to go, but there is things here that i have to take care of financially and other responsibilities, but i need to be faithful... this is scary, but it is about time i live this life that i want to live... is anyone else feeling this struggle of complacency? Army of the Lord, it is time to march...

why do i do???

i am typing up this little ditty from the great state of Maine... well i am not sure about how great it is, but it seemed to flow right off of the tounge that way... i am spending the weekend at my mother's for a little bit of a break, to get my explorer fixed up a bit and as a new project i think i will do some dry wall mudding in my mom's bathroom tommorrow... so much for relaxing... actually i may do that too...
on the way down here from bangor there was an hour and a half stretch where i found a worship station on the radio and had a great time of praise to my creator... it was fun... but, as i type this i have a bit of a heavy heart... this is because i am a double minded man and Scripture says that kind of man will be like a ship tossed in the wind... (or something like that) God has increased my ministry territory on Grand Manan as of late, but i can't seem to focus just on Him... why the heck is this??? i have been asked to preach for some weeks to come (not sure how long), the boys and girls club's #'s have increased as have Central's youth group, working with Sidney has been great and supply teaching is starting to happen... one would think that with such a busy load of ministry and investing in people there would be no time to invest in self and selfish desires... i frustrate me...
i think i am at a point where what Paul said is really hitting me... why do i do what i do not want to do??? and why can't i focus "in Christ alone"... truly there are 2 things that i want in this world and they are time with my boys and to be right in God's eyes and that is not the order of priority just for the record... this whole double or triple or thousand mindedness is hard on the head and seems to pull in all directions... i hate it... Jesus, renew my mind... i am so much less than you want me to be and that drives me crazy...

i don't know what to say, but i gotta say something...

i have to first off say that God is amazing and that is not just a cheezy awards show "God props" either... the TSA concert was amazing and then the sunday morning service was amazing... the concerts along with sickness caused me to lose my voice for 4 days... that made me realize that sometimes we treat God like we treat our voice... we don't realize how important it is to us until we are without it...

so here i am surrounded in teens at the boys and girls club trying to imagine what it is that God wants me to share as i was asked to preach at seal cove baptist church... it is funny because i have never considered being a senior pastor, but it has crossed my mind as i may have multiple chances to preach there... i don't think that is the direction God has for me but my mind has gone to what if... anywho i hope this post finds you all doing well and may the Lord's richest blessings be yours...
scottie

eviction, redemption and puddle hopping...

so for all the non posting nazi's out there who are about to growl at me here is my update of the past few eventful days in the life of leighton...

last week i recieved a note on my door of my cottage and was informed that i had one month to find alternate arrangements of the living persuasion... i wasn't sure why at the time, but i found out today... apparently "we do not live this way" or at least that is what i was told by my rich land lady... i think my porch was a little untidy for her liking... boy, did i ever feel like a red neck, but then i thought about this pish posh comment and i laughed my head off... funny thing is that i am moving into a 3 bedroom house just down the street for roughly the same price... yay to say the least...

saturday i got to see my kids... nuff said... but i will say more... my baby is the fattest little sprinter out there... he has his daddies belly to say the least and he is walking big time... fun, fun, fun... oh yeah and my still married wife is with lee's biological daddy again (drama) and i met him on saturday... awkward, but this will be a later post...

and last but not least today kirk, tim, his sister heidi, and myself took some teens to go puddle hopping... we took pictures and it was amazing... one of the highlights was having 2 lines on either side of a puddle and one of the teens parents flying through the puddle with her van... great time had by all... so yeah, keep in touch and go to www.habhater.blogspot.com and buy one of kirk's DVD's...

and p.s. 7 Cent Tip aka the band i play in is opening for Three Season Ant on September the 10th @ GMCS... how exciting... i can't wait...

so that is all for now boys and girls... have a great week...

Off by 24 hours... shucks!!!

so close, but not close enough is all i could say as i just missed a $400/ week job that would have allowed me to still do ministry in the evenings and keep my part time jobs...
my wonderful brother just got back from a week's vacation this sunday and he mentioned that he was speaking to a gentleman who needed another worker to help him make lobster traps for 40 hours a week at $10 an hour so i made the call since the guy was expecting me to and this seemed too good to be true... later on that evening the guy called me and told me that it was last week that he talked to my bro and since he did not hear from me he assumed i was not interested... so the long and short of it is that he hired a lady just the day before i called him... both he and i were kicking ourselves because he said he would have hired me in a second and since i just graduated from good ole BBC last year the government would have paid 70% of my salary... so hear i am with just my part timers again wondering if it is wrong for me to hope that things don't work out with this lady... so to quote an 80's band that i used to like and cannot remember the name of; "So close,yet so far away!"

Still waiting on Jehovah Jirah

Praise in the suckfullness...

i have to admit that despite the stressful times when i have no sweet clue as to what is going to happen or how the heck i am going to get out of them it is good to know that God does not change and has a plan... i know that this sounds cliche, but let me explain... to be honest i am still quite anxious as to how things are going to pan out about things, but God reminds me constantly that He believes in me and the abilities that He has given me... this has been evident this summer as God has increased my ministries... Tim and Kirk have a lot of occasions when they have to be away during parts of the summer and on many of those occasions they have asked me to fill in... this includes preaching, leading youth and leading worship (youth and sunday morning)...

in my last church that i attended i was taken out of the ministries that i was involved with due to me being in the midst of a separation... that hurt, but i understood and truthfully did not want for my situation to be a distraction to peoples worship... but now that i am home and had some time to heal God has blessed me with opportunities and two Godly leaders for pastors and good friends... this just reminds me over and over that God's promises are just that; promises... the tough part that i tend to forget is that He will bring me through my other stuff as well... that for some reason i have a harder time remembering... but as i spoke with a lady today i was reminded again of the power that is in praise... how do you make the enemy flee??? one word... Jesus... praise that name and remember His promises, not my hopes or ambitions and we can make it... is it always easy??? heck no... God is faithful and that ain't no cliche...

Tough spot... need prayer...

So here is my dilema and I may have mentioned this before... Ministry vs. Money... i am not even sure if it comes down to that, but things are tight and the thing that stresses me about no money is that it means no time with my boys... THAT SUCKS!!! if i were to pray specifically on this issue i would hope God provides a job for me during the day so i can continue to help with the local churches youth ministry as well as my ministry at the boys and girls club...

my latest hurdle is that i have been talking lately with legal representitive of a bank that covered part of my student loans... basically it come down to this... if they do not get their $26,000 by the end of the month they are taking me to court... now there is an alternative... this lawyer offered to cut my loan by about 12 or 13,000 dollars if i can get a co-signer and start making payments... (cheap ones too) but at this point there is no one who is able to helpe me in the matter... prayer is appreciated and advice is genuinely appreciated too... i would not even post this if i were not in such a pickle, but i need help... humbling spot to say the least...

~scottie~

Bad boys, bad boys, what ya gonna do?

now this post may surprise some of you and some of you it may not... tonite i served my first game of a 2 game suspension from my local men's baseball league... personally i am not real sure how to feel... humbled? yeah, a bit... surprised? that too... i think i am mainly just laughing about it though because i have never been suspended from anything before... no technical fouls or ejections in any manner from any sport at all...(actually there was that time when i bit that guys ear off in the Bethany Boxing Federation, but i was hungry so can you blame me???) so this is a wierd place for me to be right now...

the long and short is this... playing second game of baseball on a long, hot saturday afternoon and the calls seem to be questionable and our bench became quite irritated... as did i... the difference being that i (in my opinion, politely) approached the umpire to get reasons for such travesties... others did not handle things quite so gentlemanly(is that a word???) ... i guess the ump was tired too after a long afternoon and did not appreciate our questioning and quit midstream of the game... on monday one of our team reps (we have 2) spoke with this ump and said that we had 2 options... either myself and 2 others were suspended for 2 games or he would never ump our teams games again... well if we had a surplus of umpires on Grand Manan this would be an easy choice for me because i thought the ruling was silly, but alas, we do not... in fact this umpire represents 50% of the umpires on Grand Manan so i am serving my 1st suspension from anything, ever this week...

do i feel that we were scapegoats and made an example of to show others in the league that this problem will not be tolerated... YOU BET I DO!!! if things were handled consistantly there would have been 10 different guys serving suspensions this week for "jawing" as they like to call it, but i guess that is not the point...

the point and humbling spiritual lesson is this... when i allow bad officiating or other people's actions (other teams that is) to control my attitude and take the fun out sports for me it is time to hang up the cleats... in fact i almost did saturday night as i tossed and turned til 1:00 in the morning hating what had happened, how i felt towards others, and who i became on that ballfield that day... does this apply to life??? i think so... you connect the dots...

but sunday night through numerous teens sharing with me their personal hurts and pains i realized that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ and he has awesome plans for me on this island with the young people so i best stop beating myself up, griping about "others", serve my time and move on... Satan has been attacking me big time as i realize this, but i will not be defeated so i guess all i really have to say is...

"Play ball!!!" (er, well not until next week that is....)