how to love???

it is a matter of perspective, but when do you reach the point where enough is enough??? or do you???

i have realized today that my flesh is apparently stronger than my spirit... looking at this i would think that it is because i am feeding one more than the other, but i don't think that is it... the problem seems to be that i am not really feeding either... now i don't know about you, but when i don't get fed i get cranky... so it seems to me that if i am not feeding myself spiritually (whatever that means) i can get cranky which seems to make the flesh more abundant... does this make sense to anyone else??? somehow in my mind it does... the long and short is this... i am not looking forward to Christmas because of that lack of time i will get with my kids and that ticks me off... now as of late i am trying to "speak life" into people and that apparently has painted a target on me...

so because i have not fed my spirit as i should be i become a complaining "bitch" that i do not want to become... how fun is that... sorry for the language...

so here i am being hungry and mad at the world asking how do i get fed and please, no sunday school answers...

it is all about perspective, but didn't even Job wonder what the heck was going on and if it would ever end???

all about perspective...

so yeah, i have been a super slacker when it comes to posting about the alabama trip, but here it is... i have had a real hard time collecting my thoughts about what i witnessed while i was there... there were a ton of emotions from either side of the spectrum...

i will say this about what we did... it can simply be put as "whatever"... serving was tops our our list and there was plenty of opportunities for that... the majority of what we did as a group was tearing the insides of people's houses apart so they could be bleached and rebuilt...

there are so many stories of things where we could see the hand of God in our trip that i could go on for hours telling them, but i will save that for a later date... what God did in me was, to say the least humbling...

seeing the destruction and hopelessness down in the gulf coast was overwhelming to me and yet i did not want to leave... i was so happy serving these people even though there was a lot of grunt work that i am not used to... yet doing ministry and serving people filled me with joy...

but the main emotion that i came back home with was that i am a very selfish person... as i got back home i realized how much i complain about things that seem big to me, but in the grand scheme of things are not... i complain about my house having no oil and being cold; at least i have a house... i complain about my vehicles always breaking down; at least i have vehicles to break down... i complain about never seeing my kids; at least i know where my kids are and that they are safe...

you see; it is all about perspective and we are often so quick to complain when we are blessed... "with this blessing comes responsibility and this is so much bigger than us..."

i love it...

more updates to come...

here we go...

dear diary,

i don't know if i am going to be able to sleep tonight, but i will try... so here is the agenda for the next few days...

Monday, November 21st - pack and do 1 million things to get ready for the trip...
7:00 pm - leave on the GM V and get to black's harbout @ 9ish and then head to wales maine... arriving there around 1 AM...

Tuesday, November 22nd - get rental van at 8 am and the we drive drive drive... stop somewhere (not sure where) to get some sleep...

Wednesday, November 23rd - drive, drive, drive and hopefully arrive in Mobile, Alabama that evening...

Thursday, November 24th - serve 600 thanksgiving meals...

beyond that i am not sure what we are doing, but i get the feeling that God is going to continually break my heart with what i am about to see and stand in the middle of... may i be a light Lord that shines for you... all for You...

what it is all about...

so please forgive me if it seems like i may be bragging during this post, but i am... lately i feel like i am somewhat bipolar due to the fact that my moods seems to stay the same as long as a the weather does... but lately things have been reminding me why i do what i do...

let me explain... last week i was given the opportunity to counsell some people though some stuff and even though immediately things did not plan out the best, today someone came to me and said that they all worked things out... it is so cool that i was able to lay a foundation and then leave it alone and those involved could get through the rest on their own in their time... what a blessing...

then the other night at youth we presented the idea to our teens who were planning on going to a huge rally about the possibility of serving in Alabama in march and the almost immediately decided that they want to serve instead of pursuing their own interests... i was so proud of these teens... words cannot explain it...

so i guess i post this for 2 reasons... first, it serves as a reminder for me to not give up when things suck... there is value in investing and caring even though somedays (like today) it is a big headache... and secondly, i guess i wanted to remind those of you out there who care about people and desire to invest in people to not give up when things get tough and people don't always appreciate your efforts... despite what you feel, there are people who do care and do appreciated... hang in there and keep trudging through the muck...

we are going...

man it has been a while since i have left a post on this site... if there are those of you who actually check this, i am sorry for my slackness...

i guess the biggest thing that i have to say in this one is that i am alabama bound... tim branscombe and myself have been chatting and feel like it is time for us to step up and represent Christ in the "gulf area" of the southern united states... to make a long story not so long we are heading for alabama in about 3 weeks for american thanksgiving to serve those down there who are in need and there is a lot... am i excited??? yes i am... scared? you bet... do i have any idea where the money is coming from??? not a clue, but God is faithful and $400 is pocket lint to my saviour...

if you want to join on and come with us during this amazing opportunity, please let me know... if you would like to support me financially or prayerfully, that would be greatly appreciated as all this is needed... once again, this is something that is so much bigger than me, but God is faithful and will lead the way...
sweet home alabama here we come... we may not be able to handle it all, but as God is our strength we will do what we can and bring souls to Christ... i can't wait...

i can relate, i can relate....

okay, this begins a little humbling, but it has a point... so it was a rainy afternoon and i finished up a band practice and went home to rest before teen night... while i was home resting i decided to channel surf... as i did i came across Oprah... now i don't usually watch Oprah, but i noticed that her guest was going to be Uma Thurman... after seeing this i decided to leave it on that channel... it could be that i secretly have decided that i am going to marry her, but nobody is suppose to know that yet...

anywho as she spoke with the talk show diva they talked about Uma's recent divorce and for the first time in my life i felt like i could relate to a celebrity... as she spoke she seemed very real... it was like her pain was the great equalizer... i felt like if i were there we could speak and actually with each other... seeing this famous movie star speaking very honestly and very painfully brought back some emotions for me and reminded me of what i have to come in terms of finalizing stuff...

so here is my point... "pain is pain..." how is that for deep thoughts??? on a day that i have been missing my little boys and have been feeling pretty alone i see someone who is dealing with pain and hurt too... my heart broke for uma as a could relate to what she was feeling... none of us are exempt, none of us are free from pain... this is a fact, but despite this pain the ultimate truth is that "God is God" and he cares for our hurts and pains... sometimes it is the simple things that i so easily forget, but it is still true... so here i sit still missing my boys trusting that we will be united someday saying that "uma, i praying for you..." YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

for goodness sake, do something...

okay,

i have to admit that i have watched more news last night and today than i probably have my whole life... i cannot fathom what is going on down in the the southern united states... my heart has been breaking all day for the people down there... even though it seems that people have been evacuated better and people are more prepared i cannot help but wonder what a lot of people are going to come back to, if anything at all...

now as i have been talking to timmy b. i have recently discovered that my youth ministry philosophy is sickeningly simple... in fact it is 2 words... here it is: "do something" that is it... just get your hands out of your pocket, your finger out of your nose and do something... love people, spend time with people, invest in people, serve people... for goodness sake, just do something!!!

incase it is unclear there seems to be a connection with the last 2 paragraphs... i am even quite nervous to mention this as i may be called on it... God let my yes be yes, but i cannot get the feelings out of my head that i have to do something for the people of the gulf coast... what that is, i have no sweet clue... send money, pray, i don't know... it seems bigger than that... obviously i need to give this to God but it is almost like He has been breaking my heart for the people there as if He wants me to be there and "do something"... please join with me in prayer regarding this as i try to determine what God is calling me to do here... obviously if He asked me to go i have to go, but there is things here that i have to take care of financially and other responsibilities, but i need to be faithful... this is scary, but it is about time i live this life that i want to live... is anyone else feeling this struggle of complacency? Army of the Lord, it is time to march...

why do i do???

i am typing up this little ditty from the great state of Maine... well i am not sure about how great it is, but it seemed to flow right off of the tounge that way... i am spending the weekend at my mother's for a little bit of a break, to get my explorer fixed up a bit and as a new project i think i will do some dry wall mudding in my mom's bathroom tommorrow... so much for relaxing... actually i may do that too...
on the way down here from bangor there was an hour and a half stretch where i found a worship station on the radio and had a great time of praise to my creator... it was fun... but, as i type this i have a bit of a heavy heart... this is because i am a double minded man and Scripture says that kind of man will be like a ship tossed in the wind... (or something like that) God has increased my ministry territory on Grand Manan as of late, but i can't seem to focus just on Him... why the heck is this??? i have been asked to preach for some weeks to come (not sure how long), the boys and girls club's #'s have increased as have Central's youth group, working with Sidney has been great and supply teaching is starting to happen... one would think that with such a busy load of ministry and investing in people there would be no time to invest in self and selfish desires... i frustrate me...
i think i am at a point where what Paul said is really hitting me... why do i do what i do not want to do??? and why can't i focus "in Christ alone"... truly there are 2 things that i want in this world and they are time with my boys and to be right in God's eyes and that is not the order of priority just for the record... this whole double or triple or thousand mindedness is hard on the head and seems to pull in all directions... i hate it... Jesus, renew my mind... i am so much less than you want me to be and that drives me crazy...

i don't know what to say, but i gotta say something...

i have to first off say that God is amazing and that is not just a cheezy awards show "God props" either... the TSA concert was amazing and then the sunday morning service was amazing... the concerts along with sickness caused me to lose my voice for 4 days... that made me realize that sometimes we treat God like we treat our voice... we don't realize how important it is to us until we are without it...

so here i am surrounded in teens at the boys and girls club trying to imagine what it is that God wants me to share as i was asked to preach at seal cove baptist church... it is funny because i have never considered being a senior pastor, but it has crossed my mind as i may have multiple chances to preach there... i don't think that is the direction God has for me but my mind has gone to what if... anywho i hope this post finds you all doing well and may the Lord's richest blessings be yours...
scottie

eviction, redemption and puddle hopping...

so for all the non posting nazi's out there who are about to growl at me here is my update of the past few eventful days in the life of leighton...

last week i recieved a note on my door of my cottage and was informed that i had one month to find alternate arrangements of the living persuasion... i wasn't sure why at the time, but i found out today... apparently "we do not live this way" or at least that is what i was told by my rich land lady... i think my porch was a little untidy for her liking... boy, did i ever feel like a red neck, but then i thought about this pish posh comment and i laughed my head off... funny thing is that i am moving into a 3 bedroom house just down the street for roughly the same price... yay to say the least...

saturday i got to see my kids... nuff said... but i will say more... my baby is the fattest little sprinter out there... he has his daddies belly to say the least and he is walking big time... fun, fun, fun... oh yeah and my still married wife is with lee's biological daddy again (drama) and i met him on saturday... awkward, but this will be a later post...

and last but not least today kirk, tim, his sister heidi, and myself took some teens to go puddle hopping... we took pictures and it was amazing... one of the highlights was having 2 lines on either side of a puddle and one of the teens parents flying through the puddle with her van... great time had by all... so yeah, keep in touch and go to www.habhater.blogspot.com and buy one of kirk's DVD's...

and p.s. 7 Cent Tip aka the band i play in is opening for Three Season Ant on September the 10th @ GMCS... how exciting... i can't wait...

so that is all for now boys and girls... have a great week...

Off by 24 hours... shucks!!!

so close, but not close enough is all i could say as i just missed a $400/ week job that would have allowed me to still do ministry in the evenings and keep my part time jobs...
my wonderful brother just got back from a week's vacation this sunday and he mentioned that he was speaking to a gentleman who needed another worker to help him make lobster traps for 40 hours a week at $10 an hour so i made the call since the guy was expecting me to and this seemed too good to be true... later on that evening the guy called me and told me that it was last week that he talked to my bro and since he did not hear from me he assumed i was not interested... so the long and short of it is that he hired a lady just the day before i called him... both he and i were kicking ourselves because he said he would have hired me in a second and since i just graduated from good ole BBC last year the government would have paid 70% of my salary... so hear i am with just my part timers again wondering if it is wrong for me to hope that things don't work out with this lady... so to quote an 80's band that i used to like and cannot remember the name of; "So close,yet so far away!"

Still waiting on Jehovah Jirah

Praise in the suckfullness...

i have to admit that despite the stressful times when i have no sweet clue as to what is going to happen or how the heck i am going to get out of them it is good to know that God does not change and has a plan... i know that this sounds cliche, but let me explain... to be honest i am still quite anxious as to how things are going to pan out about things, but God reminds me constantly that He believes in me and the abilities that He has given me... this has been evident this summer as God has increased my ministries... Tim and Kirk have a lot of occasions when they have to be away during parts of the summer and on many of those occasions they have asked me to fill in... this includes preaching, leading youth and leading worship (youth and sunday morning)...

in my last church that i attended i was taken out of the ministries that i was involved with due to me being in the midst of a separation... that hurt, but i understood and truthfully did not want for my situation to be a distraction to peoples worship... but now that i am home and had some time to heal God has blessed me with opportunities and two Godly leaders for pastors and good friends... this just reminds me over and over that God's promises are just that; promises... the tough part that i tend to forget is that He will bring me through my other stuff as well... that for some reason i have a harder time remembering... but as i spoke with a lady today i was reminded again of the power that is in praise... how do you make the enemy flee??? one word... Jesus... praise that name and remember His promises, not my hopes or ambitions and we can make it... is it always easy??? heck no... God is faithful and that ain't no cliche...

Tough spot... need prayer...

So here is my dilema and I may have mentioned this before... Ministry vs. Money... i am not even sure if it comes down to that, but things are tight and the thing that stresses me about no money is that it means no time with my boys... THAT SUCKS!!! if i were to pray specifically on this issue i would hope God provides a job for me during the day so i can continue to help with the local churches youth ministry as well as my ministry at the boys and girls club...

my latest hurdle is that i have been talking lately with legal representitive of a bank that covered part of my student loans... basically it come down to this... if they do not get their $26,000 by the end of the month they are taking me to court... now there is an alternative... this lawyer offered to cut my loan by about 12 or 13,000 dollars if i can get a co-signer and start making payments... (cheap ones too) but at this point there is no one who is able to helpe me in the matter... prayer is appreciated and advice is genuinely appreciated too... i would not even post this if i were not in such a pickle, but i need help... humbling spot to say the least...

~scottie~

Bad boys, bad boys, what ya gonna do?

now this post may surprise some of you and some of you it may not... tonite i served my first game of a 2 game suspension from my local men's baseball league... personally i am not real sure how to feel... humbled? yeah, a bit... surprised? that too... i think i am mainly just laughing about it though because i have never been suspended from anything before... no technical fouls or ejections in any manner from any sport at all...(actually there was that time when i bit that guys ear off in the Bethany Boxing Federation, but i was hungry so can you blame me???) so this is a wierd place for me to be right now...

the long and short is this... playing second game of baseball on a long, hot saturday afternoon and the calls seem to be questionable and our bench became quite irritated... as did i... the difference being that i (in my opinion, politely) approached the umpire to get reasons for such travesties... others did not handle things quite so gentlemanly(is that a word???) ... i guess the ump was tired too after a long afternoon and did not appreciate our questioning and quit midstream of the game... on monday one of our team reps (we have 2) spoke with this ump and said that we had 2 options... either myself and 2 others were suspended for 2 games or he would never ump our teams games again... well if we had a surplus of umpires on Grand Manan this would be an easy choice for me because i thought the ruling was silly, but alas, we do not... in fact this umpire represents 50% of the umpires on Grand Manan so i am serving my 1st suspension from anything, ever this week...

do i feel that we were scapegoats and made an example of to show others in the league that this problem will not be tolerated... YOU BET I DO!!! if things were handled consistantly there would have been 10 different guys serving suspensions this week for "jawing" as they like to call it, but i guess that is not the point...

the point and humbling spiritual lesson is this... when i allow bad officiating or other people's actions (other teams that is) to control my attitude and take the fun out sports for me it is time to hang up the cleats... in fact i almost did saturday night as i tossed and turned til 1:00 in the morning hating what had happened, how i felt towards others, and who i became on that ballfield that day... does this apply to life??? i think so... you connect the dots...

but sunday night through numerous teens sharing with me their personal hurts and pains i realized that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ and he has awesome plans for me on this island with the young people so i best stop beating myself up, griping about "others", serve my time and move on... Satan has been attacking me big time as i realize this, but i will not be defeated so i guess all i really have to say is...

"Play ball!!!" (er, well not until next week that is....)

everything is the same...

as i came up with the title of this post i realized that it is not a totally accurate title... as i saw my boys last friday i realized that they are not staying the same... they are getting BIG!!! although vaughn is not walking on his own yet, he walked around the mall with his mother as he held on to a lower makeshift handle on his stroller... i couldn't believe it... and lee, well lee is a monster... not a mean one, but a cuddly and friendly one... you know, like on sesame street... and not like elmo... he annoys me... i would say more like the cookie monster... friendly with an aggressive, hyper streak... anywho, that is what is no the same...

pertaining to my title it feels like things are moving slowing in the same direction that they have always been going... still missing the boys, still struggling with bills and being stressed and still with a car that is more content with not running rather than, well you know...

now don't get me wrong... i love my life here, but i guess i am just hoping that things could move more in the direction of closure in regards to my boys and "my time" with them... that is why i want a better car, that is why i wish there was more money to pay support to their mother... (is this complaining or just longing for more time with my boys, or both???)

i guess i would be okay with everything being the same if my boys were included in the routine... i feel selfish typing this, but it seems to me that a father, or a real father should long to be apart of his kids lives... there is too many deadbeats out there who don't give a damn (sorry) about their kids and yet they still get rights... where is mine? (for the record i am not challenging God here)

Perhaps this is the place where i need to be praying that God would teach me to be a better father for my boys so that when i get time with them i will know how to be a better dad... was that redundant or did i just repeat a thought in the same sentence??? ;7p

love yall, keep praying....

post creation report...

all i can say is wow, what a week and man i need sleep... for those of you millions of readers who do not know, i was at Creation Music Festival in Pennsylvania last week... amazing... the concerts were great, worship was great, speaking was great, and God was totally there... amazing...

it is hard to say what my fave concert was, but if i had to choose, i would say Casting Crowns... does it make me old if i enjoy a band for the words and passion for the Lord above a kicking concert? if so i guess i am old... don't get me wrong, i enjoyed the kicking ones too and it was awesome that they were all about God too... great week...

two main highlights for me were this: 1) i was able to meet and chat with 2 guys from PA and they were really cool guys... one of them played in his churches worship band which gave an instant topic for conversation... as well he has gone through what i am going through in regards to marriage now... what are the odds??? well i was blessed as they prayed for me and we continued to chat and exchange emails...

2) God really challenged me to get alone this week... for those of you who do not know of creation, there are roughly 120,000 people there and 150,000 at night... unbelievable sceen during a worship time, but you would think that getting alone would be hard to do... especially since the people who i travelled with are some of my best friends... but i did and it was awesome... what a peace he gave me as i got lost in His presence amongst the other 149, 999 people... God's ways are not our ways eh?

please pray as i get to see the boys this weekend...

daddies day update...

what can i say... holy cow... wow... praise the Lord... i don't know, but all i know is that my boys are the best... lee totally made me feel like a king with the gift and card he made me and my baby would not stop staring at and cuddling with me... king of the world baby, king of the world... now real life sets in again and i have to look at what i have to do to get more time with the boys... even better, time alone with them in my home... overnight, etc... you get the point... rubber meeting the road i guess... it has been long enough... yup...

oh and by the way... if you were getting excited to see pics of my boys here i apologize because that will not be happening... i told my ex that i would respect her wishes and not put thier (the boys) pictures online... she does not want any sick freaks that may be out there to see the kids and well... so if you want to see pictures of my kids pop you little email addy in my comments box and i will do my best to get ya some soon if i know you... and if you are a sick freak who is out there, shame on you, ruining all my fun...

another testimony...

so here it is... another report to you all from the wonderful rock of Grand Manan... this time the report comes from another wonderful teen in my youth group... this girl makes me laugh a lot so i want you all to experience the joy that she brings me... she is now going to tell you about what God did in her life at May Rally 2005... it is so neat to see young people being obedient when God speaks... anywho, here she is...

Hey my name is Tatum and i had the most fun at may rally!!!! At all the rallys they had i learned something new.... the one I remember the most was when pastor Ken was talking about ..... ok just think about it this way ok you, God and Jesus were all on a rope and we'll hanging off a cliff and you were on the top god was in the middle and jesus was on the bottom and had to cut his own son off and when Ken was talking about it. it caught me and i told myself i have to follow him and not anyone else and thier is going to be good and bad times and it is hard to because i have been through it and it is very hard but all you can do to pray and God will do something about it!!!!!!
I learn't alot at may rally but it is to long so that is the one i liked the most
bye Tatum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tatum is one of the many grade sixers that have recently started coming to youth and have made an impact on my life... Sometimes it is easy to get frustrated with all their energy, but to be honest i would rather try to tame a wild grade sixer than to raise a dead one... (spiritually speaking that is) and to be honest why do we need to tame them anyway??? i think there are already enough boring Christians out there already... i don't know if i've mentioned it or not lately, but i really love being home and investing into the lives of these young people... PTL!!!

well tommorrow is daddies day and i cannot wait to see my little men... pics to come... i promise...

Baby b.day and Father's Day eve eve...

today is the 17th and holy cow is it a busy day... actually all of mine have been that way lately... anywho my little baby boy turned 1 year old today... whoa... that freaks me out man... only 15 more of those and he will be asking me for the car keys... whoa, only 7 years and 2 months and lee will... (panic sets in) i need a new car for my boys to drive... although i had someone last week tell me that it was pretty... i think it was more mockery than sincerity...

yeah so on that note i am going to freddy on daddies day and i cannot wait... i bought a kite for lee and toys for the birthday boy... hooray, hooray... maybe we will hit golf balls (me and lee that is... may take vaugh a little bit) i give vaughn a year or less before he is better than his old man... lee is already there... pictures as soon as i figure out how to do it... anywho another testimony tommorrow...

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

Now I realize that by the title alone this sounds like it will be a griping post, but it isn't totally... I am just exhausted and need closure...
on a positive note, I get to see my boys this Sunday which totally gets me fired up being that it has been another 2 months and Sunday is daddies day... woo fereaking hoo!!! Please pray... I really want a good time with my boys w/out conflict with my ex...
secondly, I am frustrated big time with something that I never thought I would have to face... I am interested in someone and the crappy part is that I cannot say a word to this person lest it be adultery... This is tough... Talk about feeling like I am gonna explode... heck yeah and it ain't the gas folks...
I am losing sleep and getting sick so if you are not already, please pray... And if you are... I need rest BIG TIME!!!!
now don't get me wrong, God is good and He is teaching me how to not live defeated for the most part (or when I listen... sheesh) but I am physically, emotionally, and mentally tired... I need closure and my life back... After a year and a half of chaos I am ready for a boring set scheduled kind of life again... BRING IT ON!!!

live report from the rock...

Well it has been almost a week since my last post so I guess it is time for a new one, but since I cannot think of anything to write this second we will have this news update brought to you by Vanessa Corsini... I will be back after these messages...

Well I guess im bringing you an update of my spiritual life over the past 6 months.. Well Tim (my youth pastor) has helped me with my walk with Christ so much and also Scotty, If not for those to I would be down the wrong path. Last Saturday I was a Leader of Worship at the Contemporary service at Central Wesleyan. It was an amazing thing for me to see so many people of all ages worshiping the Lord.. Worship plays a huge role in my Walk with Christ. But another thing is Digging into the Word ... Its the most amazing thing to find out things you had never known before. Also on Sunday im getting baptized (YES)...Im so stinking excited. On June 22nd im headed to the Bahamas on a missions trip and im hoping I learn so much and also this summer im working as a Camp counselor..Well back to the Break News with Scotland Leighton.

well I think I have discovered a new theme that I am going to be doing for the next few posts... For all of my hundreds of readers (okay, who am I kidding... Just me) I think I will get testimonies of teens from our amazing youth group on Grand Manan... For real, these guys and gals are amazing and have been a huge part of the healing process for me during this rough stage in life... I love how God uses things and how He has a perfect plan... Sometimes ya just gotta trust I guess even when it doesn't make sense... leighton out....

Sevice # 7

What a day!!! First I got to sleep in a bit which is always cool and then later in the day I got to play a game of baseball on my baby bro's team... So far we are 0-3, but when we figure out this whole pitching thing we'll win some... I think we are surprising people with our hitting... until then, Bad News Bears it is... or maybe I need to watch the Sandlot for inspiration... Has anyone seen The Sandlot 2??? Wow, that was random...

But the definately the highlight of my week was our contemporary service... So many things to make it awesome that I will put it in a list format...
1) God was there!!! (duh)
2) Dana Wells was there... (i love my little newfie maid)
3) Seal Cove Youth Band (led by Selinda Ingalls) opened up the service...
4) Our band opened Come and Fill Me Up with a U2 style... (i love my band)
5) Good size crowd of unashamed worshippers of all ages... (well, teen to middle agers)
6) I got to look down and see my brother (Christian of 8 mos) lift his hands and truly worship God... I could hardly play through that one... balled my eyes out!!! Praise the Lord!!!

It was a great night to say that least... Things got a little frustrating at the ball game so the service was a great followup and a definate highlight of the week...

Keep praying, still need work... Thanks all, love ya...

Scotland

Calling vs Happening...

if anybody know of a job out there for me that would be great... I am getting this feeling like I may not get called too many more times to supply teach... I am able to up until the 10th and then I need to find something else for at least the summer... this is one of those situations where money is money and you take what you can get, but at the same time too I need consistent time with my boys (weekends, etc...) and I work during the evening with the teens (ministry)... what a pickle...

has anybody had one of those times where you felt like God had ya somewhere for a purpose and things don't seem to go in that direction??? feel free to share examples... I could use some encouragement here...

Jorb update...

I called today and was given some disappointing news... I did not recieve the job... I was in the top 3, but there were some areas that I lacked experience in and this job is a short term one so they need results now... Does this bother me? A lot more than I thought it would... What is our lesson for the day boys and girls? I don't know, but it has something to do with eggs and baskets and such... One thing that is tough to swallow is that everyone says I need more experience and yet no one is willing to hire me for things like this so I can get that valuable experience... Sorry if I am complaining...

So if I could ask you to pray for something, it would be this... Direction... I don't want to move off of Grand Manan right now, but I don't see any other choice unless I want to fish... Who knows? Maybe I could work for Bethany?

More random thoughts...

Hey guys and gals,

Thanks for the messages so far... You all encourage me... Just a request: If you wouln't mind telling others who know me about this site that would be great... It has been cool to touch base with people who mean so much to me...

Well today was judgement day for me in regards to a jorb that I applied for here on Manan and I had my interview... I hate interviews... It is tough to get across passion in such a formal setting, but hopefully they caught my passion for the people of Grand Manan... I will let you know if I got the job on Friday... crossing my fingers and praying... is that oxymoronish???

On to May Rally... All I can say is amazing!!! Every aspect that I can think of was God filled and I left Mount Alison University in awe... In awe of God's presence, in awe of teens commitments, in awe of how many victories were won this weekend... As you read in my previous post, I am in love with my teens on Grand Manan and it is so amazing to see how an on fire group of young people can grow more passionate with a fire for Jesus Christ... amazing...

On a personal note... please continue to pray for my family situation... All of a sudden it has been tough to get in touch with Lee again and that is never easy to deal with... Closure, sweet closure... Plus, I have felt that I will have my boys with me here for Father's Day and I am not sure how that is going to happen... I need wisdom on how to approach this is that day is getting closer...

Okay, I realize that was a lot of random topics, but there is a lot on my mind... From now on I will try to make the posts a little more concise... peace out ya'll...

Revival...

Have you ever been in the midst of something and the only thing that you were able to say is aaaawwwwwwww as you realize your chin is dragging on the ground? I can honestly say that I am there now...

Now there have been some cool show, concerts, sporting events and man made thingy's that have made me oooh and aaahh, but what I am going to share now by far takes the cake...

It is this... God is moving... Wanna know how I know? People all over Grand Manan are being obedient and lives are changing... It is not an abnormal occurrence for many non church goers to attend my local church and get this... They want prayer for their lives, families, sicknesses, and many other issues... Some of them are actually deciding to follow Jesus and experience life with Him... IT IS AMAZING!!! Our youth group is growing on a weekly basis and the numbers are getting bigger too... So many kids, so many new commitments, so much change... Just tonite we had a plan and God directed our youth pastor in another direction and things went Godly from there... So many kids, so many commitments and prayers for an increased passion... Tears of conviction, joy and celebration... Then a good ole Jesus party!!!

Why do I say this? Am I bragging about my hometown? Not at all!!! I am bragging about my God... For so long I have seen drugs, alcohol and death be the norm here and there seems to be a wind of change blowing through and frankly, I would like for hurricane Jesus to stay... It is so amazing to see this happening and be a part of HIS work in it, but at the same time I want to encourage you that this is not exclusive to my hometown... God will move anywhere His followers are willing to take up their cross and follow Him... Does this guarantee comfort? Heck no, but who cares... If you ask me this past year and a half of pain and hurt was worth it to get this tiny glimpse of God at work and I can't wait to see how much greater it is going to be and I cannot wait to celebrate in it with my kids...

What a shock and how do I feel?

Well it is Saturday night here on good ole Manan and to most families that means that it is beans and wieners night, but not for me... For me it means that it is time to talk to my boys... Well talk to Lee and listen to my baby squeal in the background... I can't wait til he can talk... Until he learns to talk back I guess...

Anywho, Lee as usual, hit me with a bombshell... He told me that his "real Dad" is moving from Alberta to Fredericton so that he can see him more... Now this may not be right, but I trust this guy about as far as I can throw him... Reason being is that he has not been a part of Lee's life since Lee was around 2 years old... Lee is now 7... But my little boy was so excited... Inside I was being torn apart as the "theories" of what this means and what might happened ran through my head, but I had to be excited for my little boy... As best I could I focused on how great this was for Lee, but what a gut check... To be honest I am scared that I may lose Lee and I also fear that this guy may take off again and break my little boy's heart... Tough spot, but somehow I am getting use to adverse situations lately... How should I feel here???

On a more positive note I met with H.C. Wilson today and we chatted about my situation and now I have more of a peace of what is next, but please pray because I have a big decision to make...

And a quick stat to add to your book of who gives a crap I am going to be joining a men's baseball team that my baby bro is organizing down here and for the first time in my life I am going to be a pitcher... That is scary... But I am excited because I learned how to throw a curveball last week... Hard on my weak arm, but fun... First time on the mound I hit one of my bandmates with an attempted pitch... He is okay... Nothing the emergency room couldn't handle... Okay, enough foolishness.... I'm out... Blessings all...

What is on my mind???

Welcome to my site all... I have been browsing some of my old college mates websites and I did not realize how cool of a tool this is to keep in touch... So of course I had to jump on board... Plus I see all kinds of other parents online bragging about their kiddies and I just could not let that stand without my own bias opinion...
I really believe that accountability is something very important and this is a cool way to see how we are doing in Christ as well as encouraging each other as well... We all have adventures out there in our little grown up world called life... This is mine... Let's keep in touch shall we???